Heavy Metal

Heavy Metal





more broken bones

Today my dad and I were laying around the house and all the sudden we got a call from Caroline’s school. We both ignored it and it went to voice mail. They told us we had to come pick her up as soon as we got the message because she was in hysterics over a broken ankle. We got there and called to say we were waiting outside, and Caroline walked out and angrily got in the car.
"Damn nurse didn’t believe me." She said as she punched the seat. 


boats

Caroline: Do boats ACTUALLY float?
Caroline: Or do their magnetic poles just push the boat up?

Flammable

Caroline: Oh cool they're flammable!
Me: CRIPPLES?
Caroline: Yeah! I asked Mike [our uncle] he said if you smoke near them they light up! Like gas. Isn't that awesome?!
Me: Mike no

Oh cool they’re flammable!
talking about cripples still

Oh wait cripples can’t get married, it’s against the law. But if they could I bet they wouldn’t be allowed to have a priest.
caroline

Can cripples get married?
caroline

If you’re blind do you still have to wear glasses?
caroline

Being gay isn’t wrong I just don’t want that gross shit around me or on my profile!
gross shit

I can’t tell if guys get periods or not. The internet says they do but you can’t believe what the internet tells you.
okay

this actually happened

Caroline: Do you like boys or girls?
Me: Um, guys?
Caroline: Would you ever kiss a girl?
Me: Yeah sure.
Caroline: Ew you're a lezzy!
Me: You don't even know what that MEANS.
Caroline: Yes huh! It means you'd kiss people who have long hair.
Caroline: Get it? Lezzy and fuzzy.
Caroline: Seriously, you're dumb.

What makes you white? Do you have to be from Germany?
caroline